Melt Down

Sheriff Thom gave the all clear at 7am Saturday morning. Some left immediately; others lingered over breakfast just the same. The roads were still a mess, but the weather was mild. The temperature was over 50, overcast and calm. The ice and snow were melting away, the runoff spilling into a maze of pools and puddles on the still frozen ground.

The sun was beginning to break through at 7:30 when the Sheriff left. The ice storm was over with no reports, so far, or anything too serious. Electricity had been restored to 70% of the county already. Still, no rest for the weary. The arts festival was ending that day, which would be a handful on a good day. But that would have to wait. Deputy Nance had called at 7:15 to pass on the news that Paul Giardino’s herd of trophy animals had been spotted running loose along DeRuyter creek. An impromptu posse of dogs from a few farms had formed and was tracking and chasing the critters.

Sheriff walked around his car to the driver’s side and got in, noticing that the temperature seemed to drop about 40 degrees when he stepped out of the sunlight. He worried that the pack of dogs would create additional problems, called Nance back and told him to get the county’s animal control officers on it. Jane ran out and waved him down before he could drive away, passed a bacon and eggs sandwich to him through the window. Sheriff thanked her and drove off. A few hundred yards down the road he lifted the edge of the bread and peeked to see if it was real bacon, as if Jane might be watching him.

By 9am the breakfast service was winding down. Everyone who had spent the night had eaten early. After the Sheriff left cars from town began showing up. Tired as she and Ray were, Jane did not have the heart to refuse them. It was the last busy day. Anyway, the dining room was only half full, and two of the tables were holdovers. Professor Loomis and David were at one of them, chatting with Pygmy and Casper. Ray kept offering them refills on coffee and they kept accepting. Finally at 10 David announced that he and Pygmy better get over to the festival.

Casper, Pygmy, and David all thanked Jane for her hospitality. “The Festival thanks you” added Pygmy. Jane smiled graciously but had no idea what that meant.

David gave Jane a little brotherly hug. “We’ll be back tomorrow morning.” On his way out David did a double take. “Oh, say, you know what, we’d like you three to come to the banquet tonight as our guests, join us at our table. Will you do that for me?” He turned the charm on Jane as he said that, smiling coyly. He noticed that it worked. Jane kept her composure but he could tell.

“Sure. Thanks. I’ll be there.” Jane said.

David looked at Ray, then at Donald Loomis, who was still working on a coffee and not paying much attention.

“Me too?” Ray asked.

David nodded. “Of course, you too, and the Professor. Will you join us, professor?”
“Join you. Join you where? Oh yes, the banquet, um, sure” said Loomis. “At the faculty club, right? What time is it?” He was relieved to hear that the seating was at 6pm, cocktails at 5pm. He did not like to eat late, and wasn’t crazy about driving at night. He looked at his watch and announced that he had to get going as well. He accepted David’s offer of a ride home.

Casper, David, Donald and Pygmy left and the place was fairly empty the rest of the day. By 2pm the dining room and kitchen were all cleaned up and set for Sunday. Jose helped Ray load a week’s worth of trash on the flatbed and they went off to the dump, Jose driving. Jane figured no license at all was better than a suspended one. Jane sat in the dining room pleased with herself. She had always felt she could succeed in business if she had the opportunity; by her standards the restaurant was a success. Seemed like her brother didn’t quite agree with her, judging by some of the things he said, but that was kind of the way he was, pessimistic, or maybe it was about sibling rivalry. Didn’t matter. She still loved him.

She wandered around the house, inspecting it in a new light. It was a restaurant now. She had showed that Veronica that she could do it too. Well, not the Bed part. Not yet.

Jane put a couple more logs on the fire, poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the fireside table to drink it, the table which David and Donald liked to sit at. She sat down in David’s chair, leaned back like he sometimes did. She closed her eyes and imagined what the banquet would be like, fell asleep without taking a sip of the coffee.

The sidetrack to the Professor’s took much longer than expected. Loomis Hollow Road was still shut down so they had to reverse course back to Jane’s and circle around on DeRuyter Road, then south on Route 8 and back north to the Professor’s. Pygmy and Casper were bickering over something inconsequential, too. David reflected that Casper and Pygmy had never gotten along, different personalities. Maybe jealousy was involved, with David at the center, although that didn’t make sense either since David’s relationships with each of them was long in the past. David could have just asked them but that was too easy. It was more fun to figure that stuff out.

So they made the much longer than usual drive from the Professor’s to campus in a tense and sour silence, both Casper and Pygmy stony silent in the bright sunlight, the wild landscape of tree limbs and branches passing without being remarked upon. Once or twice David made cheery comments to break the ice. They reached campus at noon. David used his parking spot by the art school.

They took the shortcut across the soccer field to the quadrangle. The last day of the festival there were no lectures or workshops. Nominally it was gallery day, the idea being to highlight the works, particularly the student works. In good weather, like that day, people congregated on the quad or on the playing fields, tossed Frisbees, played music, sat on the lawn. The ground was far too wet for sitting. Even Frisbee was messy. Mostly people milled around talking about the ice storm and what they did during it. Spirits were generally pretty high.

Students were beginning to trickle back into town and onto campus from spring break. The festival attendees had vacated Greektown that morning. It was being reclaimed by the fraternities and sororities, who were cautiously surveying the incidental property damage left by 7 nights of serious partying. Even after the repairs the profits were considerable, several thousand for the larger houses.

By 2pm the sun was high and it was 66 degrees, felt like 80 in the sun. The quad was getting pretty crowded as more and more students combined with festival attendees. David and Pygmy had never seen it as busy, or as boisterous. A day earlier the attendees had been shivering in winter outfits, stressed out by the storm, tired out from a week of partying. Who knew where the students had been on spring break. No doubt they had been partying all week too. They just didn’t show it.

David was making some comment to Pygmy along the lines of Shaw’s adage about youth being wasted on youth when an unseen commotion bubbled up across the quad from them. David and Pygmy followed the buzz with their eyes, straining to see what was going on. A naked young man with a long beard emerged, followed by another, and then by one, two, three coeds, or possibly young female attendees. They were all young and had nice bodies. It was hard to see with so many people crowded into the quad. Naked bodies appeared and disappeared.

The bearded young man whom the others appeared to be following leapt up onto the edge of the fountain and balanced on one leg, flailing his arms to maintain his balance. A loud cheer went up from the crowd. A naked girl climbed up and stood next to him, pumped her fists in the air. The crowd approved. She was very fair with long red hair, reminiscent, at a distance anyway, of Botticelli or Giotto. The bearded cupped his hands to his mouth and yelled something which David and Pygmy could not make out. Then the girl playfully pushed him and he fell backwards into the water.

Within a minute there were 50 naked people climbing on or bathing in the fountain, and as many or more in the process of disrobing. How word got to town in unclear but less than 5 minutes later the Sheriff was informed of 911 calls about an orgy on campus.

“and just what in hell am I supposed to do about that?” he thought aloud. Then he had a disturbing realization. The runaway herd had last been spotted a mile east of campus, and the pack of dogs, now even larger, was still in pursuit. One of his deputies had assembled a couple of animal control wardens and several volunteers. They were working to corner the herd well enough to use tranquilizer darts. Sheriff was very disturbed after he spoke to the deputy on the radio and learned the plan was to drive them into the quad, where they could block the exits and capture at least some of the animals.

“No!” the Sheriff commanded, “Bad idea.” The plan was highly unlikely to work since the animals were running loose, eluding all approaches. The elk and the buffalo were running together, spooked and disoriented. “Just get the dogs for now” he ordered, leaving the how to the animal control wardens, “that’ll maybe calm the herd down. Where the hell are those yaks?”

Another deputy broke in to tell the Sheriff that the state police were on their way to campus in response to a complaint about nude and nascivious behavior. Sheriff told the deputy he’d look into the campus complaint himself, then switched back to the first call: “What about the yaks?” he asked.

“I have no update for you on that” said the deputy.

Sheriff got to campus before the state troopers, checked out the scene on the quad. Apart from the nudity he didn’t see any wild or criminal behavior. More work was unwelcome. There already was the aftermath of the ice storm to contend with, a media event of a homicide investigation, and a stampeding herd of elk and buffalo, and maybe a herd of yak somewhere.

At the sight of the sheriff the fountain emptied out. The troopers arrived, looked around a bit and saw no nudity. Sheriff told them it was all over so they reported as much to the barracks and left.

Sheriff told the crowd “No more!” in a quiet but authoritative voice, meaning the nudity. He then called the station and advised he was going to take his dinner break.

The nudity thing was over anyway. It was time to leave for some, and getting close to banquet time. The western end of the quad was already in shadow. It looked like rain to Jane and Ray as they drove to campus. They stopped off at Ray’s house on the way so he could shower and dress. Ray put on a white shirt with cufflinks, light brown corduroys, and a hounds tooth sport jacket. He chose a maroon tie, the only clean one. He liked to dress, occasionally, and this was an occasion, the first time in his adult life he’d been invited to a social function.

They got to the banquet midway through cocktail hour. The room seemed awfully crowded to Jane and Ray but turnout was much lower than expected. Many people cancelled due to the weather, wanting to leave for home, antsy about getting stuck again. Ray and Jane stood by the entrance, intimidated by the apparent sophistication of the crowd. They felt foolish to just stand there and too self conscious to move. They spotted Professor across the room and gravitated to him. Professor had already taken his seat at their dinner table and was chatting with the German guy, Casper. Jane plopped down next to Professor. Ray walked around the table, reading the place names until he came to his.

“Where’s your drinks?” asked the Professor with a twinkle, holding up a highball glass in one hand and pointing at it with the other. He covered his mouth and sort of half sighed and half hiccoughed. Jane was startled to see the effects of alcohol on him. Not that he was even tipsy, just a little high spirited, which was far enough out of character for her.

Casper stood up and, ever polite, asked if he could have the pleasure of getting their drinks.

“Open bar!” intoned Professor. Jane and Ray didn’t know the term. Jane said just a coke for her. Ray opted for Early Times on the rocks.

“A double” he corrected as Casper walked away. Jane kicked him under the table. Ray shrugged back at her. Then someone with a microphone was trying to get the room’s attention. He saw Pygmy up on the podium with David and a couple of other people. The room hushed up. David was talking, blah blah blah, art stuff, festival this and that. Pygmy was sitting on a chair behind him, dressed in a dark skirt and multicolored sweater. Casper brought the drinks. Ray sipped his and pretended to listen to David. Did Pygmy just smile at him?

The waiters began to roll out the carts before David finished. David wanted to scold them, turned up the mic and called for everyone’s attention. “Just one more thing before we start pigging out – this is actually about pigging out – a lot of you have been talking about the wonderful little country restaurant that just opened, Jane’s Breakfast. Jane’s here with us tonight..” David took a sip of water, “...so I want to also thank Jane Thom” he pointed at the head table, “Jane?” Jane stood up and there was polite applause. The waiters had carried on with the soup course despite David’s scolding. “OK, let’s eat” he intoned.

David and Pygmy joined the others at the head table, the seating order going David, Jane, Pygymy, Ray, Casper, Donald with two places vacant. Rodrigo caught an early flight. Skid preferred to watch the NCAA basketball tournament. David proposed “a toast to Jane’s place.” The others raised their glasses and said cheers. Ray drained his second double, vaguely miffed that Jane was getting all the credit when he had put his time and money into the place too. Food was awfully good, though. He was really psyched about the prime rib; had to have been a couple of years since he last had it, at somebody’s wedding.

To Ray’s right Casper and Professor were immersed in a private discussion of cowboys or something, about the James-Colter Gang coming to Chenango County in 1868. News to Ray. Professor was explaining that he had seen ample documentary evidence about Jesse James being there, and meeting up with members of the Loomis gang. Wash Loomis had been killed three years earlier, so Wash and Jesse could not have met. Then Professor drew some parallels between the circumstances of both men’s deaths – at home, unarmed and not suspecting anything.

After dessert the waiter came by to clear the dishes and Ray asked for a fourth drink. Jane, who had been keeping count, overruled the request. She was the only sober person at the table, she figured. Casper and Donald were just slightly tipsy. She wondered if Donald would be okay driving home in the dark, offered to give him a lift but it turned out he ridden in with Casper, who was going to drop him off as well.

At 8pm the dancing started. Casper and Donald excused themselves and left. Jane followed suit. Ray stayed behind, claiming that Skid would give him a lift later. He kind of felt like another drink. David moved over into Jane’s chair, next to Pygmy. Ten or so couples whirled around under the big chandelier to Jimmy Ruffin singing “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted.” David and Pygmy were gabbing. Ray closed his eyes and nodded his head in time to the music. David got up and asked what Ray was drinking (double Jack Daniels, Pygmy passed). David went off to the bar. Ray drained the remnants of his fifth drink. As he set the glass on the table he felt a hand on his leg, just above the knee. He looked down at Pygmy’s hand, then turned to face her, attempted a smile.

Pygmy stood up and held out her hand. “Let’s dance!” She pulled Ray up and walked out on the floor, Ray lumbering along in tow behind her. At first they were separate, Pygmy energetically sashaying around him. The DJ segued into the Supremes’ “Got Him Back In My Arms Again.” The most Ray could do was move side to side to no particular beat. Pygmy took him by the hands and led him around the floor. Ray was not too drunk to enjoy the motion, indeed after a few more numbers somehow gained clarity and coordination. They stayed on the floor for a good half hour. David gave up on them and went off to chat with other friends.

Back at the table Ray slumped into his chair, suddenly tired and a bit sweaty. Pygmy waved over the waiter and requested a couple of coffees. The ballroom had thinned out. David had taken off at some point. The music was still playing but the staff had turned up the lights, a not so subtle signal that the affair was in overtime.

“What about the wood stove?” Pygmy asked. She took a handful of packets of sugar, squeezed them together and opened them all in one motion, spilling half the contents on the table, pouring the rest in Ray’s cup.

“I don’t take sugar” he admonished her, “Wood stove?” He looked around in confusion.

“You were going to come over and give me an estimate for putting in a wood stove.”

“Oh that, right. Sure, I’ll come over. When do you want me to come over?”

“How about now?”

“Now!?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, okay, I guess.” He winced at the sweetness of his coffee, hiccupped once loudly.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They went to the coatroom and got Pygmy’s wrap. Ray just had the sports jacket. Outside it was still warm, for March, but drizzling. “You up for walking?” Pygmy asked, although there was no alternative. Ray nodded and off then went, taking the shortcut pedestrian bridge across the Susquehanna River. The rain picked up a couple of hundred yards from the house, and they started to run as best they could, which was not very well in Ray’s case. Pygmy circled an arm around his waist to support him and he kept a tentative hand on her shoulder for balance as they loped through the dark, often stepping smack into deep puddles of cold water. By the time they reached the porch of Pygmy’s house they were more than soaked.

Pygmy hung the keys on a hook by the front door and hung her coat in the closet. She turned towards Ray, who stood in the open doorway, apparently awaiting further instructions. “Coat?” she motioned for Ray to hand her his. Ray wrestled out of his jacket, which was pretty much soaked. Pygmy frowned at the water dripping off it, went to put it in the laundry room to dry. Ray reached behind and pulled the door closed. He looked at the posters and artwork on the vestibule walls, not recognizing any of the reproductions nor realizing that all the original works were Pygmy’s.

Pygmy returned, drying her hair with a towel as she walked, speaking hands-free on her cell phone to someone about an interview time, a second towel draped over her right shoulder and a stack of mail wedged under her left arm. She told Ray to “take the towel and come in!, come in!” and walked away again apologizing to whomever she was speaking to.

Ray rummaged through the kitchen for a measuring tape, thinking he might as well make some measurements while Pygmy was on the phone. He looked over the living room, trying to figure out where to put the wood stove. The vent could go anywhere along the wall. He burned another10 minutes on the effort, jotted down the measurements and some notes, then plopped down on one of the sofas and waited for Pygmy to finish her call. After another 10 minutes of staring at all the stuff in her living room he picked up a copy of Art Forum from the coffee table, sat down on the sofa and flipped through the magazine. She must have a nuclear-powered cell phone, he wondered, no battery could last that long. She was always on it! Ray felt himself getting annoyed at her about the cell phone. He looked around the room, feeling bored. Pygmy walked over to and by him, making eyes and smiling at him, absent-mindedly stroking his cheek while she walked by, jabbering away on the phone the whole time. The touch jolted Ray in a few places but he didn’t show it. He stood up and took a couple of steps after her, then stopped, backed up and sat down, confused but happy. He reread Art Forum and after a while Pygmy reappeared, and walked by again, caressed his arm this time, still talking. Ray reached for her hand and held her from going. Pygmy writhed around as if she wanted to get away. To her surprise and disappointment he let her go. She left the living room for the third time, and for 10 minutes Ray heard her in the kitchen, talking and laughing.

Then it goes quiet and for a minute Ray is listening, waiting to hear her speak but Pygmy comes out of the kitchen without the cell phone and comes right over to the sofa and pushes him down on it and climbs on top of him, leans forward and gives him a lingering kiss on the lips. The thrill knocked Ray speechless for a moment; he just stared at her like a puppy. Next thing Pygmy is standing up and yanking on his arm to get him to stand up. When he realizes what she wants he stands and she leads him across the living room towards the stairs, unbuttoning her blouse and shedding it as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She pulled her hand from his and turned to face him, removed the rest of her clothing, slowly. Ray again was dumbstruck. Pygmy turned and walked halfway up the stairs, stopped and looked over her shoulder. Ray was still at the base of the stairs. Pygmy turned around and put her hands on her hips, elbows out, ordered him to c’mon. Ray obliged with slow steps towards her. She waited until he got one step away before resuming her climb. He followed her down the hallway and into her bedroom. Pygmy scampered under the covers.

“Ooh it’s cold!” she loudly exclaimed. “Turn out the light and get in here.”

Ray turned out the light and went over to the bed.

“Um, maybe you should take your shoes off and undress first.” Pygmy suggested.

Ray sat down on the edge of the bed and took off his shoes and socks, then stood up and dropped his trousers and underwear. His hands began to tremble as he unbuttoned his shirt. He turned away from her so she wouldn’t notice, fumbling over a tight button while Pygmy admired the rear view. Finally he just tugged the button loose and took his shirt and tshirt off, and climbed into bed and under the covers with her.

Pygmy noticed his hands shaking and saw him pull the button off. She lifted the covers to look at him. He was laying there like he didn’t have hands. She reached over him to turn out the lamp. She snuggled up close to him and kissed him. “Damn, honey, you’re acting like it’s your first time” she said.



..............THE END

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